The Bible On Divorce & Remarriage - Seven (and final)

God's ideal for marriage is one man and one woman living in complete faithfulness to each other for life.

In the Old Testament Law God set up regulations for divorce, evidently as a substitute for the death penalty (Deuteronomy 21). It is clear that the divorced man and divorced woman could then marry other people, with a few restrictions. They couldn't marry each other again after being married to someone else, and priests could not marry a divorced woman or a woman who had been a prostitute. The divorced woman is considered defiled in the Old Testament because the assumed grounds for divorce was sexual immorality.

When Jesus is teaching about divorce and remarriage in Matthew, he makes several new points.

1. "Whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery" (Matt. 19:9). In this case the man has no legitimate reason to divorce his wife, so he is committing adultery against her.
2. "But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery" (Matt. 5:32). This woman has been divorced without legitimate cause. The verse assumes she will remarry, but says that in doing so she has been pushed into the arms of another man.
3. "Whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery" (Matt. 5:32 and Matt. 19:9) This applies to the woman who was unjustly divorced by her first husband. In this case, the next man who marries her is committing adultery with her in the sense that they are breaking the sanctity of the first marriage.
4. "So He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery"(Mark 10:11–12). This presupposes the "except for sexual immorality" clause. In this verse we see that both husband and wife can be the instigator of the adultery.

These teachings are a very serious matter indeed. Jesus is not replacing the Old Testament law, but clarifying it. Divorce that is for any reason other than sexual immorality grows out of and into adultery. "No fault divorce" is completely foreign to God's original design for marriage. The hypocritical Pharisees thought that by divorcing a wife before getting another wife they were obeying the seventh commandment - "You shall not commit adultery." But Jesus says they are still committing adultery - first by looking at another woman with lust, and then by divorcing in order to marry another.

But what about where a divorce IS the result of "sexual immorality?" Divorce that results from one partner's adultery leaves the innocent person as free to remarry as if the adulterer had died. If this were not the case, Jesus' words, "except for sexual immorality," have no meaning. The adulterer is defiled, but the other person is not.

Life is complicated. Marriage is hard work. Adultery is a terrible betrayal. Divorce is allowed, but not required. Reconciliation might be possible. A marriage is worth fighting to preserve! But when you have done all you can do, you might still find yourself divorced and your former spouse lost to you in an adulterous relationship.

Remarriage is not required, but it is allowed. You should definitely not date until your divorce is final. You should probably wait until all possibility of reconciliation is past. Even then, you might be better off to remain single, if you can. But it was our Creator who said, "It is not good for man to be alone," and who designed marriage as the answer to that problem.

The secret to a successful marriage is that our commitments to each other grow out of our absolute commitment to the Lord Jesus. We are all sinners. We let each other down. We are weak willed. We are easily flattered, discouraged, angered, or embittered. Jesus taught that adultery is only a glance away. Pursue Jesus Christ with all of your heart and obey Him in your treatment of your spouse.

Excuses, Excuses

Jesus was sinless. He was loving and kind. He did compassionate miracles that healed the sick, raised the dead and fed the hungry. He taught that salvation was a free gift from God for everyone who would put their trust in Him.

So why did so many people make excuses for rejecting Him?

And why do so many Christians make excuses for not following Him more closely?

Scattered

The church in Jerusalem was the first church. For a while it was the only church. It was BIG! It had thousands of members and was making a big impact there in Jerusalem. Why would God allow the Christians to suffer severe persecution so that they were scattered into other areas?

The Bread of Life

This passage in John six talks about eating Jesus' flesh and drinking his blood? Are we supposed to be cannibals? What is Jesus talking about? According to Him it is the difference between life and death.

Soul Food

What do you think of when someone says, "soul food?" Jesus offered food for the soul before anybody thought of the term. He said, "Don't labor for food that perishes. Labor for the food that endures for everlasting life."

The Bible on Divorce & Remarriage - Six

So what is the answer to our questions about divorce and remarriage?

• Can divorce and remarriage be free from adultery, or not?
• Is a divorced and remarried person committing perpetual adultery?
• Should divorce and remarriage result in some sort of sanction from the church?

On the one hand, God has given us a simple ideal for sex and marriage: One man with one woman for life.

On the other hand, our lives are complicated by sin and weakness. So God addresses penalties and remedies for all kinds of complications. There is defilement. There is adultery. There is selfishness and sinfulness. There are people who find themselves divorced. Someone might say there should not be divorce because the penalty for adultery was death, but the OT recognizes divorce as an alternative to the death penalty (Deut. 24:1).

The OT also addresses several other situations that do not square with God's idea for sex and marriage. If a man seduces a virgin he is forced to pay the bride price and marry her - without the possibility of ever divorcing her (Deut. 22:28-29). If a man has two wives and loves one wife but not the other, he must not deny the birthright of his children by the unloved wife (Deut. 21:15). If a man divorces his wife and she marries another man, but that second husband dies, the first husband cannot take her as his wife again because she has become defiled (Deut. 24:2-4).

When Jesus addresses issues of divorce and remarriage in the New Testament, He is not prescribing new laws. He is explaining God's perspective on the hearts of the people who are involved in these situations. Jesus is addressing people who feel pretty good about their level of success at achieving an acceptable level of righteousness. They had not violated the written law - the letter of the law. But Jesus says, "You have still violated the spirit of the law by committing adultery in your hearts." In fact, Jesus says, "You are using the law to commit adultery."

A man may not have ever committed adultery physically, but still have committed adultery by looking at a woman with lust in his heart (Matthew 5:28).

A man may have not been unfaithful to his wife while married to her, but then he divorces her to marry another woman. Jesus says that is adultery on his part (Matthew 19:9; Mark 10:11; Luke 16:18). He also says that the man who marries the divorced woman is committing adultery (same verses). He even says that when a man divorces his wife causes HER to commit adultery!

Jesus is not saying that the remarriages are not legitimate marriages. Both the law (Deut 24:1-4) and the language Jesus uses acknowledges that the remarried people are really married. The second husband might die or divorce the remarried wife, making her available again to be married - but not to her first husband. When Jesus talks to the woman at the well he says, "... have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband" (John 4:18)

So what is Jesus saying? That the people who practice these things are falling short of God's ideal. Lust in the heart violates God's ideal and pollutes (adulterates) what ought to be kept pure. Divorce and remarriage spoil God's ideal and may well be just a socially/legally acceptable way of committing adultery. God knows the hearts and all have sinned, even if they have kept the letter of the law.

Because He Lives...

Jesus is alive from the dead - never to die again. What does that mean to us? 1 Corinthians 15 makes several important points about this.